if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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