hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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