marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
