i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
