I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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