Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
