so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
