I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
