did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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