If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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