another moral hangover. fuck.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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