Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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