Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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