i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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