this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
