return my video game
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
