if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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