you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
