OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Randomize
