If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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