Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
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