i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
