you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
