I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
