Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
