chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
