Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
