Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
