Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
