On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
