I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
