It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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