the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
