I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
