that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
