I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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