3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
