How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
