He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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