I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
