so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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