I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
