Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
