Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
