She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
