Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
wanna go halves on a baby?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
whose parrot is this?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
