Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
