you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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