Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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