is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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